I became a lawyer because I wanted to make a difference. 32 years later, I’m delighted to say that I have finally found a way to make that difference. One that combines every bit of professional and personal experience that those 32 years have brought.
The Lawyer Phase: The Early Days
As a family lawyer, my passion was advocacy—standing up for my clients in a system that was often adversarial and rigid. But over time, it became clear that winning in court didn’t always translate to winning in life for the families involved.
The legal process could be slow, expensive, and emotionally draining, often amplifying conflict instead of resolving it. I realized that the traditional process, even when approached from a conciliatory place, was rarely the best answer, especially when children
were involved. Becoming a Mediator: Finding a Better Way
Mediation changed everything for me.
It allowed me to create a space where clients could communicate openly, find common ground, and make decisions that served their unique needs. It was empowering for the clients and deeply fulfilling for me as a professional.
Helping parents shift their perspective to see that it’s the two of them against the problem, rather than the two of them against each other, has felt more like a privilege than a responsibility.
I felt I was finally making a difference in a way that aligned with my values. But even in mediation, I noticed that many clients struggled to manage their emotions, mindset, and decision-making during the process, often hindering their ability to reach the best outcomes.
Transitioning to Coaching: Supporting the Whole Person
This realization led me to coaching. I wanted to provide more than just a space for resolving legal issues; I wanted to help people navigate the emotional landscape of divorce, co-parenting, and rebuilding their lives post-divorce. Coaching allows me to offer clients the tools and support they needed to make decisions from a place of clarity and confidence, rather than fear and anger. It was about helping them not just survive the process but thrive beyond it.
Coaching also created the opportunity for me to offer Co-parenting Coaching to parents who have settled their legal issues and want to focus on building a strong co-parenting relationship. This has been especially rewarding when working with clients who have come to me after being battered and bruised by the adversarial process.
Practical Tips for Professionals Contemplating a Shift
If you’re considering a shift, here are some steps that guided me:
1. Trust Your Instincts: If you feel called to make a change, listen. Often, our greatest contributions come from following a nudge that requires us to step outside our comfort zones.
2. Build on Your Expertise: Use your existing skills as a foundation. I didn’t abandon my legal background; I integrated it into my work as a mediator and coach, enhancing my ability to support clients
holistically. The same applies to your personal experience. Nothing is ever wasted.
3. Start Gradually: Explore the new path alongside your current work. I began coaching while still mediating, which allowed me to refine my approach without fully stepping away from mediation.
Each phase of my journey—from lawyer to mediator to coach—has been about finding better ways to serve. If you’re considering a shift, know that the impact you’re seeking is possible. It might just take a different approach to get there.
I’m living proof that it can be the circuitous paths that lead to the most beautiful destinations.
Dominique is a mediator and life coach in New Brunswick, Canada. Learn more about her work HERE.
